Just When I Think I've Had Enough

Primary is stressful for me.

I love the kids. But being in primary is stressful.

And I attribute a lot of me feeling like I'm not really a part of the ward to being in primary and being a full-time student. We had our RS social this week and I couldn't go because of school. So I don't get to go to any activities during the week, and I don't get to talk to anyone else because I'm in primary.

I've felt for about a month now that I'm done with primary. That I just want out. Just when I'm fed up with feeling belittled and I'm sick of feeling like the presidency believes we have no clue what's going on in our class, one of the kids does something that warms my heart or cracks me up.

Yesterday we had our primary program practice. It was seriously frustrating. It was probably 30 minutes too long for the kids' attention span. And about 15 minutes before we were done, one of the presidency members says, "who's ready for a pizza party!?!" to the kids, riles them up, makes them sing 2 more songs, talks for a while, has a closing prayer, and talks some more. These kids are jumping out of their skin because you've reminded them of the pizza party you're throwing after the practice. And then, as Cory and I are helping a lady from another ward unload her car full of food into the kitchen, 2 of them stop us to remind us of things we already know, or that are just common sense. Please. I just want to go home. I'm tired. I have a day of work ahead of me. And I have my arms full of food that's not even mine.

Then, today for the program, it was really difficult to keep the kids sitting still. They just don't. And that's fine. But keeping feet and skirts down isn't easy. Then, when one of the boys in our class that didn't want to stand and sing because he didn't know the words started singing "I Love to See the Temple" I started getting a little teary-eyed. And then, this same boy in sharing time, looks at me, looks down at my chest, back up at me, again at my chest and says, "Wow! Those are two big ones!" I knew if I laughed it would bring more attention that necessary. After church I told Cory, who also busted up. So funny. I love these kids so much.