Sunday, April 29, 2012
What Dreams May Come
Before Cory and I got married... but while we were engaged, Cory had a dream about us having a set of twins. So, when we found out out little June Bug was coming, at our first ultrasound, I prepared myself for anything. I'll admit, I was only slightly disappointed that there was only one. (But I'm glad now, because I don't know if I could do two right off the line. And... Heavenly Father knows what He's doing.)
Recently, Cory had another dream about twins, and our family in general. This time a little more specific.
Here's the run-down according to Cory's dream:
Baby 1: Girl (and thank goodness, because we can't change that now)
Baby 2: Boy
Baby 3: and 4 - twin boy and girl
It will be really exciting to see how it really happens. But I wouldn't mind if it worked out the way it does in Cory's dream. And hopefully I'll be finished with grad school by the time 3 and 4 come along. Cory probably won't. He has an extra year or two on me.
We'll see.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Change Can Be A Good Thing
First off (I have a lot of first offs these days), baby update:
Tomorrow marks the end of 32 weeks. Holy cow! Our little June Bug is so wiggly and I love it. It's so entertaining that Cory and I will just sit at watch her sometimes. She does not like to stay in one place very long. What I don't love is the constant feeling of exhaustion, the increasing pain in my ribs, and how hot I am at night. I have my next dr. appointment May 1st. I plan on asking them how they know how big she is. I know they can tell from measurements on an ultrasound, but I don't get any more of those. And I'm still a little concerned that she will be gigantic. Not so much for me, but for her. Cory's brother got stuck and had shoulder displacia. I guess he wasn't even that big either. I know that really doesn't mean much for me. But still... And since they said I don't have gestational diabetes at my last appointment, I haven't really been eating like I do. For all I know, it could be late-onset like my sister, and I just packed an extra 2 lbs. on her unknowingly. Yep. I'm a new mom. I worry. I know it will be okay. But I'm still allowed to worry about dumb things. It comes with the territory. Right?
Secondly, I think we officially have a name for Baby Girl. Lately I've been re-thinking this choice. I'm not sure why. And I'm hoping that if Heavenly Father has a different name in mind for her, that He lets me know pretty soon... because I've been trying to think of other names, and I'm just drawing a blank. Anyway, Baby Girl Scott will most likely be named Olivia June... we're about 95% sure. Cory prefers Olivia Jane. But there's something about June that I love. My second oldest sister and I were talking about this a couple months back and I think I like June so much because my niece, my oldest sister's daughter, is Eva June. Eva brought something very special into our family when she was born... and even before so. Eva has Downs Syndrome. And I think we've learned a lot from her about not needing perfection to be happy. That our ideas of perfect and happiness are not Heavenly Father's ideas of perfect and happiness. That unexpected things are not always bad. And that there is a lot of hope and love to have in this world, even when things aren't our idea of perfect. At least that's how I see it. Eva, and her mom, have strengthened my testimony a great deal, and I would really love that name sake for our baby girl. And I pray she will be an example of hope and love to those around her (no matter what her name is).
Now on to the main purpose of this post: Graduation.
Cory has been working very hard towards August graduation. In order for that to happen, he needed to have his entire honors thesis completed an turned in by May 15th. In order to finish all his research to accomplish this, he needed the go-ahead from the faculty member he's been working with. Now, this man is essentially a genius. He's co-chair on both the audiology and neuroscience boards at BYU and on various international boards and committees. He travels a great deal to speak in various countries, and gets subpoenaed occasionally to be an expert witness in his fields. He's a pretty important guy. Well, after trying to get a hold of him for a few days, Cory finally heard back from him. The email was simple. "I won't be available until May 14th." Yeah. Remember that May 15th deadline? So, it's pretty much not going to happen. August graduation, that is. The only downside is that we were planning Baby Girl's blessing around graduation and both of our families were coming in. We were just going to make a whole weekend of it all. The good news is that Cory doesn't have to rush and freak out for the next 3 weeks. And for me, that means I can have a Mother's Day and a birthday with my husband. :)
So the new plan is that we'll both graduate in December (only 4 months difference... so no big deal), and since they don't have convocation exercises in December, we'll walk in April. The downside of April convocation is that it is HUGE. That's when everyone graduates and all over town is just a mess. But, this way, Cory will actually get to walk with honors. Yay! I mean, he's been working on this for 4 years now... I personally think the man deserves it. And, the honors department throws him a fancy schmancy dinner/award ceremony... so... free dinner! Plus, Cory graduated high school early, so he never got to walk at his own high school graduation. So, we're going to let him do that for college. :)
The last little change of plans, after talking to all of our parents, is we will be moving the baby blessing up by a week. So instead of August graduation weekend (the 12th), we'll be blessing Baby Girl August 5th. So mark it on your calendars! It's going to be a party. We think we'll bless her in Grandma and Grandpa Scott's ward in Alpine and do a luncheon up there right afterward. We really have no space for people down here. My oldest sister was very generous to offer her home to us as well, but we though we may as well keep everything in one spot.
So that's the plan.
8 more weeks of pregnancy (ish).
4 more weeks until my mom and sisters are here for the baby shower! (I'm SO excited!)
Ready. Set. Go!!!
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Sundays Are Interesting
First, I'm grateful I made it through church today. The chapel was SO hot. I am grateful Cory was willing to fan me with the program almost the entire meeting. Just to show you how hot it was, during Sunday school, he fell asleep. Well, the heat was not the interesting part of our meetings. That came in Relief Society. Surprised? I'm not either.
The lesson in Relief Society today was temples. For all my non-LDS friends who may read this, temples are very sacred places of worship for us Mormons. Within the walls of the temple, couples and families are sealed together for eternity (essentially our wedding ceremony), those who did not have the opportunity when they were alive to be baptized can be, and it's a place where we can find peace away from the hustle and bustle of our everyday lives. We believe that a major component in God's plan for us (His children) is families. We are born into families for a reason... thus the eternal family/marriage thing.
I mean, look at this place (one of 136 temple in operation throughout the world), who wouldn't want to get married in such a beautiful building?
The reason why this particular lesson on temples was so interesting is because the sister sharing the lesson began by telling the rest of us how she didn't have a testimony of temples. That's a good way to get a person's attention. The rest of the lesson was a little fragmented as she shared quite a bit of detail in her life story. In a way, it was refreshing to be reminded that not everyone who is LDS has the same testimony in each aspect of the Gospel. Here's her story in a nutshell: This sister was adopted into an abusive family along with her brother. She grew up without a knowledge of the Church (or any church from how it sounded). Because of her abusive upbringing, she left home at 15, was pretty much a vagrant, and very promiscuous. She moved to Hong Kong, was going to marry a man for his money, ended up falling in love with a different man, started learning about the Church through some friends, and moved back to the United States. Here in the U.S., she was baptized and served a mission in Korea. When she returned from her mission, she met and married a man in the temple (remember, for eternity). After about 2 years and a child, they divorced because, in his words, she wasn't "drop-dead gorgeous." Hey, no one is perfect. And yes, Mormons are supposed to hold themselves to a high standard, but that doesn't mean all of us live the way we should. It's sad, but true.
Needless to say, this kind of experience could completely jade a person. Just like any other negative experience we have. If your close friend gets injured in a specific activity, you're probably less likely to participate in that particular activity... and it's more likely that you're friend won't do it again. Well, that's what happened to this sister. She did eventually re-marry. But not in the temple. People change, and there's a huge fear that you won't like the person your spouse becomes. Well, I have a few thoughts on that matter. First, hopefully you and your spouse are constantly working together to become closer to each other by becoming closer to God. That is something you and your to-be spouse need to decide before getting married though. And, as the below diagram depicts (you may have to use a little bit of imagination), as you both come closer to God, each spouse automatically grows closer to the other.
That's not to say that the fear doesn't exist. And in reality, you don't know what will happen in the future. Take my parents. They divorced when I was really young, for reasons I'll probably never understand. They're back together again (after 16 years), but that's a whole different story for another time. That's what the whole faith thing is all about. You have faith that your spouse will do what they need to do, as they have that same faith in you. People do change. They're supposed to. But hopefully it's for the better.
My second thought on this is that this whole marriage thing takes work. If neither of you are willing to put in the work, or if only one of you is, chances are, it probably won't work. I know I'm no expert. I haven't even been married a year. But this is just what I've seen and these are my feelings from my experiences. And I'm not saying that this sister didn't put work into her marriage. I'm not pointing fingers anywhere. Again, these are just my little reflections.
So what did I take out of this lesson? As I sat there, listening to this and other sisters' horror stories of being married in the temple to the wrong person, or having a very different outcome than expected, I was filled with gratitude. Why? I am so grateful that this sister was brave enough to share with the rest of us that she was unsure. I am grateful because I do have a testimony in temples, and by having a testimony in temples, I have a testimony in the eternal nature of families. Growing up, because my parents were divorced, I never knew what would happen to my family after we were all dead. That was scary. I had a fear that because my parents weren't together, I wouldn't see the rest of my family after this life. There was no promise or guarantee. At least in my mind. When I was that young, I didn't fully understand the doctrine.
I am grateful that my children will never have to experience that same fear. But didn't I just say that you never know what will happen and that people change? Yes. Yes, I did. But Cory and I are both determined to work hard at our marriage, and the rest we go on by faith, always asking and praying that God will help us through whatever trials may come. And I know He will help us as long as we are willing to put in the work.
I probably have a few other things I should add, or that I wanted to add, but I think that will come a little later.
The lesson in Relief Society today was temples. For all my non-LDS friends who may read this, temples are very sacred places of worship for us Mormons. Within the walls of the temple, couples and families are sealed together for eternity (essentially our wedding ceremony), those who did not have the opportunity when they were alive to be baptized can be, and it's a place where we can find peace away from the hustle and bustle of our everyday lives. We believe that a major component in God's plan for us (His children) is families. We are born into families for a reason... thus the eternal family/marriage thing.
I mean, look at this place (one of 136 temple in operation throughout the world), who wouldn't want to get married in such a beautiful building?
The reason why this particular lesson on temples was so interesting is because the sister sharing the lesson began by telling the rest of us how she didn't have a testimony of temples. That's a good way to get a person's attention. The rest of the lesson was a little fragmented as she shared quite a bit of detail in her life story. In a way, it was refreshing to be reminded that not everyone who is LDS has the same testimony in each aspect of the Gospel. Here's her story in a nutshell: This sister was adopted into an abusive family along with her brother. She grew up without a knowledge of the Church (or any church from how it sounded). Because of her abusive upbringing, she left home at 15, was pretty much a vagrant, and very promiscuous. She moved to Hong Kong, was going to marry a man for his money, ended up falling in love with a different man, started learning about the Church through some friends, and moved back to the United States. Here in the U.S., she was baptized and served a mission in Korea. When she returned from her mission, she met and married a man in the temple (remember, for eternity). After about 2 years and a child, they divorced because, in his words, she wasn't "drop-dead gorgeous." Hey, no one is perfect. And yes, Mormons are supposed to hold themselves to a high standard, but that doesn't mean all of us live the way we should. It's sad, but true.
Needless to say, this kind of experience could completely jade a person. Just like any other negative experience we have. If your close friend gets injured in a specific activity, you're probably less likely to participate in that particular activity... and it's more likely that you're friend won't do it again. Well, that's what happened to this sister. She did eventually re-marry. But not in the temple. People change, and there's a huge fear that you won't like the person your spouse becomes. Well, I have a few thoughts on that matter. First, hopefully you and your spouse are constantly working together to become closer to each other by becoming closer to God. That is something you and your to-be spouse need to decide before getting married though. And, as the below diagram depicts (you may have to use a little bit of imagination), as you both come closer to God, each spouse automatically grows closer to the other.
That's not to say that the fear doesn't exist. And in reality, you don't know what will happen in the future. Take my parents. They divorced when I was really young, for reasons I'll probably never understand. They're back together again (after 16 years), but that's a whole different story for another time. That's what the whole faith thing is all about. You have faith that your spouse will do what they need to do, as they have that same faith in you. People do change. They're supposed to. But hopefully it's for the better.
My second thought on this is that this whole marriage thing takes work. If neither of you are willing to put in the work, or if only one of you is, chances are, it probably won't work. I know I'm no expert. I haven't even been married a year. But this is just what I've seen and these are my feelings from my experiences. And I'm not saying that this sister didn't put work into her marriage. I'm not pointing fingers anywhere. Again, these are just my little reflections.
So what did I take out of this lesson? As I sat there, listening to this and other sisters' horror stories of being married in the temple to the wrong person, or having a very different outcome than expected, I was filled with gratitude. Why? I am so grateful that this sister was brave enough to share with the rest of us that she was unsure. I am grateful because I do have a testimony in temples, and by having a testimony in temples, I have a testimony in the eternal nature of families. Growing up, because my parents were divorced, I never knew what would happen to my family after we were all dead. That was scary. I had a fear that because my parents weren't together, I wouldn't see the rest of my family after this life. There was no promise or guarantee. At least in my mind. When I was that young, I didn't fully understand the doctrine.
I am grateful that my children will never have to experience that same fear. But didn't I just say that you never know what will happen and that people change? Yes. Yes, I did. But Cory and I are both determined to work hard at our marriage, and the rest we go on by faith, always asking and praying that God will help us through whatever trials may come. And I know He will help us as long as we are willing to put in the work.
I probably have a few other things I should add, or that I wanted to add, but I think that will come a little later.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Resizing
You know... when you're pregnant... everything changes sizes. Your waist, your chest, your hips, your feet, even your fingers. It wasn't until the end of just last week that I started having a hard time getting my wedding ring off. On warmer days, it was really uncomfortable just wearing it. So I would either not wear it, or I would wear a different ring. Either way, I felt kind of naked without this baby:
I mean, I've been wearing it for over a year now. And nothing feels quite the same. Besides, I love it so much. I hope you can see why. (I would have taken a picture of it on my finger... but it just didn't do it justice.)
Last week I wore a different ring to work. One of the girls I supervise was asking where my wedding ring was. I tried to explain to her the concept of water retention and told her that it happens sometimes during pregnancies. (Not everyone deals with it, but us truly lucky ones do I suppose). Her remark, in a very appalled tone, was "what!? Your fingers get fat!?!" as I'm sitting there eating a cheeseburger that I had picked up on the way to work since I didn't have time to make anything. Yeah. That made me feel super great. Not only am I eating gross food, but my wedding ring doesn't fit, and if I didn't feel this way before, I sure felt fat now. Awesome. Make the pregnant lady feel fat. It was one of those moments where I really had to step back and refrain from a.) crying, and b.) yelling. It was also a moment where I had to remember to forgive much faster than I am sometimes willing to. Maybe I'm not completely over it, but I don't begrudge the girl anymore. She just doesn't know. She hasn't been pregnant. She has probably never been overweight. She probably hasn't had anyone tell her how hurtful unconscious words could be. So I'm choosing to let it go... hopefully sooner than later.
Today, my darling husband went out of his way, while I was at work again, to go get my ring re-sized. He may have felt bad for me, or was getting sick of my sad puppy eyes each time I tried but failed to fit my ring on my finger. Either way, he showed up at work with my ring. I traded my plastic Cracker Jack ring he originally proposed with (you should read the whole story... it's pretty cute) for the real thing. It really made my night. I have such a good husband. And luckily he was smart enough to buy a warranty that provides free ring sizing and cleanings. So smart and so good to me.
I'm not even thinking about my ring being a bigger size now. I feel less "fat" wearing it. I feel more complete having that symbol of our eternal relationship on my finger. Plus... we looked it up and my ring's value increased about 40%. That's pretty neat.
I mean, I've been wearing it for over a year now. And nothing feels quite the same. Besides, I love it so much. I hope you can see why. (I would have taken a picture of it on my finger... but it just didn't do it justice.)
Last week I wore a different ring to work. One of the girls I supervise was asking where my wedding ring was. I tried to explain to her the concept of water retention and told her that it happens sometimes during pregnancies. (Not everyone deals with it, but us truly lucky ones do I suppose). Her remark, in a very appalled tone, was "what!? Your fingers get fat!?!" as I'm sitting there eating a cheeseburger that I had picked up on the way to work since I didn't have time to make anything. Yeah. That made me feel super great. Not only am I eating gross food, but my wedding ring doesn't fit, and if I didn't feel this way before, I sure felt fat now. Awesome. Make the pregnant lady feel fat. It was one of those moments where I really had to step back and refrain from a.) crying, and b.) yelling. It was also a moment where I had to remember to forgive much faster than I am sometimes willing to. Maybe I'm not completely over it, but I don't begrudge the girl anymore. She just doesn't know. She hasn't been pregnant. She has probably never been overweight. She probably hasn't had anyone tell her how hurtful unconscious words could be. So I'm choosing to let it go... hopefully sooner than later.
Today, my darling husband went out of his way, while I was at work again, to go get my ring re-sized. He may have felt bad for me, or was getting sick of my sad puppy eyes each time I tried but failed to fit my ring on my finger. Either way, he showed up at work with my ring. I traded my plastic Cracker Jack ring he originally proposed with (you should read the whole story... it's pretty cute) for the real thing. It really made my night. I have such a good husband. And luckily he was smart enough to buy a warranty that provides free ring sizing and cleanings. So smart and so good to me.
I'm not even thinking about my ring being a bigger size now. I feel less "fat" wearing it. I feel more complete having that symbol of our eternal relationship on my finger. Plus... we looked it up and my ring's value increased about 40%. That's pretty neat.
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