What Hurts the Most

Happy April Fools everyone. This is not my favorite of days because I suck at pranks or practical jokes, and therefore cannot take it when they're dished at me. Not like verbal jokes, I can take those. Well, last night we tried pulling a prank on a roommate, and it failed. We didn't get caught, but it failed. After that we tried to think of other things we could do. Well, only two of us were up by that time so we attempted prank #1 again. Less failure, but still failed. Then, we happened to have a toothbrush that was identical to another roommate's and put the old one in the toilet to make it look like the roommate's got flushed. (Make sense?) Apparently our shenanigans caused a snowball effect (I should have seen that coming) and when I woke up this morning, the toilet paper was missing and the toilet seat was covered in some slimy substance. I thought it was gross and rather inconvenient since I had an early appointment with the department head for the program I was trying to get into (that no one knew about). So, it was kind of funny, but a little frustrating. Needless to say, I did not react well (even though I did kind of bring it on myself with earlier attempts). Apparently I'm not a morning person either. So I ended up being kind of a jerk to my roommate. She felt bad, and I felt bad that she felt bad because that wasn't my purpose.

So I have this problem with not being able to say things cohesively. I do something or feel a certain way and try to express myself, but I end up looking like an idiot because my reasoning doesn't make sense. Apparently I learned nothing from my mission, because I'm still doing it. This was another example of that. And of course I end up being a jerk. What hurts the most is hurting the people closest to you. Especially when it's unintentional. If you mean to do it, you obviously don't feel bad because you accomplished your purpose. At least until you get a heart and realize hurting people isn't good. I think I just need to learn to shut my mouth. I keep saying that, but I still don't learn. So I'm sorry, everyone, for all the stupid things I always seem to say and do.

Why is it so impossible for my to say things so they make sense????? Or so I don't sound idiotic? Or mean? I give up. When you see me again, just smile and nod. Or ignore me. That might be best. My poor roommates. And family. They have to put up with this for extended periods of time. Everyone else can just walk away.

If it makes anyone feel better, I apparently didn't get ALL of this slimy substance off my toilet seat before using it. At least I got most of it.