I'm On My Way to Believing

About 3 months ago, Carrie, a girl I served with on my mission came to visit. She and I had never been companions, but we went on exchanges for a day once and shared the same trainer. That afternoon we decided to give our trainer (living in Rexburg) a call and see how she was. I hadn't seen her since our mission. Well, she had just broken up with her boyfriend... I believe that same day. It was unfortunate, but, as usual, for the best. Not too long after she started dating another boy. This was the pattern for her. She has one of those personalities that draw them in. I don't know how it works, but it does for her.

About two months ago I get a request from her for my address. She was engaged to this new boy. I thought, "Wow, that's fast, but good for her. She has finally decided to settle down. I hope this kid knows what he's getting himself into." (Remember, I spent 6 weeks of my life with her 24/7 and had a little, perhaps very little, insight into her personality.)

Last week, I finally got to meet this boy. I have to say I was really impressed. He was patient, kind, laughed a lot and seemed to be genuinely happy and in love. After interacting with him for a few moments, I thought to myself, "He really is perfect for her. I hope she knows what she's getting herself into."

Yesterday, Carrie and I took a little trip to Rexburg for the blessed occasion.

It was wonderful. We were even invited to the sealing! I could hardly believe it because after she left, I really didn't hear from her again. On top of that, my other companion who was married late last year didn't even tell me she was getting married. It was great to be included in something so important, and I'm so happy for the newlyweds. So congratulations Breanna and Anton. May your life together be filled with laughter, very few tears and loads of love.

For a moment or two, I was a little concerned that it would be difficult to share in the joy of the occasion, which, would be selfish, but the thought crossed my mind. So many people had been married since coming home from their missions. So many people were engaged or in wonderful relationships. And I was not. Not even close. Not even near the border of close. But after the drive with Carrie there, being a part of this event, and along the drive home, I realized that it was okay. My world doesn't revolve around being in a relationship. In fact, I'm quite happy being single (no seriously... generally I am). I was filled with a renewed sense of hope and satisfaction as well as gratitude that we believe in eternal families, and when

Mr. Perfect-For-Me comes my way, it will be forever.

As I was dropping Carrie off at home, the song The Only Exception by Paramore, came on the radio, which really is one of my favorites right now. (Paramore is my official favorite band to work out to, as a side note.) That same sense of hope came rushing back because I think I really am on my way to believing (again) that love, between imperfect human beings, is real. That it's not all one big joke or game people play to satisfy their sense of worth, power, emotions or passions. It seems silly that I would think anything otherwise, but if you knew the entirety of my experiences with men and general relationships, you'd understand.

So, the point of this post is that, though I may worry occasionally about my relationship status, I am generally happy, content and hopeful. I know who I am. I know God's plan. (finish the song if you so chose) I'm grateful for the time I have to continue to learn about and improve myself without worrying about taking care of a family. Even if it takes another 24 years, I know that when I do get married, it will be to the right person at the right time and in the right place. If it does take another 24 years, I hope I can remember everything I just claimed to understand during that time.

P.S. I've also decided I would not choose to live in Idaho unless it was absolutely necessary. There was far too much roadkill for any given stretch of road... and where did the mountains go?

Also, I almost ran over a skunk in Lehi. Apparently they run rampant out there. I'm grateful he got to live and I can still drive my car odor free.