Sundays Are Interesting

First, I'm grateful I made it through church today. The chapel was SO hot. I am grateful Cory was willing to fan me with the program almost the entire meeting. Just to show you how hot it was, during Sunday school, he fell asleep. Well, the heat was not the interesting part of our meetings. That came in Relief Society. Surprised? I'm not either.

The lesson in Relief Society today was temples. For all my non-LDS friends who may read this, temples are very sacred places of worship for us Mormons. Within the walls of the temple, couples and families are sealed together for eternity (essentially our wedding ceremony), those who did not have the opportunity when they were alive to be baptized can be, and it's a place where we can find peace away from the hustle and bustle of our everyday lives. We believe that a major component in God's plan for us (His children) is families. We are born into families for a reason... thus the eternal family/marriage thing.


I mean, look at this place (one of 136 temple in operation throughout the world), who wouldn't want to get married in such a beautiful building?

The reason why this particular lesson on temples was so interesting is because the sister sharing the lesson began by telling the rest of us how she didn't have a testimony of temples. That's a good way to get a person's attention. The rest of the lesson was a little fragmented as she shared quite a bit of detail in her life story. In a way, it was refreshing to be reminded that not everyone who is LDS has the same testimony in each aspect of the Gospel. Here's her story in a nutshell: This sister was adopted into an abusive family along with her brother. She grew up without a knowledge of the Church (or any church from how it sounded). Because of her abusive upbringing, she left home at 15, was pretty much a vagrant, and very promiscuous. She moved to Hong Kong, was going to marry a man for his money, ended up falling in love with a different man, started learning about the Church through some friends, and moved back to the United States. Here in the U.S., she was baptized and served a mission in Korea. When she returned from her mission, she met and married a man in the temple (remember, for eternity). After about 2 years and a child, they divorced because, in his words, she wasn't "drop-dead gorgeous." Hey, no one is perfect. And yes, Mormons are supposed to hold themselves to a high standard, but that doesn't mean all of us live the way we should. It's sad, but true.

Needless to say, this kind of experience could completely jade a person. Just like any other negative experience we have. If your close friend gets injured in a specific activity, you're probably less likely to participate in that particular activity... and it's more likely that you're friend won't do it again. Well, that's what happened to this sister. She did eventually re-marry. But not in the temple. People change, and there's a huge fear that you won't like the person your spouse becomes. Well, I have a few thoughts on that matter. First, hopefully you and your spouse are constantly working together to become closer to each other by becoming closer to God. That is something you and your to-be spouse need to decide before getting married though. And, as the below diagram depicts (you may have to use a little bit of imagination), as you both come closer to God, each spouse automatically grows closer to the other.



That's not to say that the fear doesn't exist. And in reality, you don't know what will happen in the future. Take my parents. They divorced when I was really young, for reasons I'll probably never understand. They're back together again (after 16 years), but that's a whole different story for another time. That's what the whole faith thing is all about. You have faith that your spouse will do what they need to do, as they have that same faith in you. People do change. They're supposed to. But hopefully it's for the better.

My second thought on this is that this whole marriage thing takes work. If neither of you are willing to put in the work, or if only one of you is, chances are, it probably won't work. I know I'm no expert. I haven't even been married a year. But this is just what I've seen and these are my feelings from my experiences. And I'm not saying that this sister didn't put work into her marriage. I'm not pointing fingers anywhere. Again, these are just my little reflections.

So what did I take out of this lesson? As I sat there, listening to this and other sisters' horror stories of being married in the temple to the wrong person, or having a very different outcome than expected, I was filled with gratitude. Why? I am so grateful that this sister was brave enough to share with the rest of us that she was unsure. I am grateful because I do have a testimony in temples, and by having a testimony in temples, I have a testimony in the eternal nature of families. Growing up, because my parents were divorced, I never knew what would happen to my family after we were all dead. That was scary. I had a fear that because my parents weren't together, I wouldn't see the rest of my family after this life. There was no promise or guarantee. At least in my mind. When I was that young, I didn't fully understand the doctrine.

I am grateful that my children will never have to experience that same fear. But didn't I just say that you never know what will happen and that people change? Yes. Yes, I did. But Cory and I are both determined to work hard at our marriage, and the rest we go on by faith, always asking and praying that God will help us through whatever trials may come. And I know He will help us as long as we are willing to put in the work.

I probably have a few other things I should add, or that I wanted to add, but I think that will come a little later.