Singin' the Same Lines All Over Again

Perhaps not identical, but almost the same lines.

I cannot truly express how much I love EFY. I'll admit, the beginning of the week was a struggle and I put on a good face to hide my fear of 16-18 year olds. I was terrified of them. How they would see me. If I would be able to teach them. If I could connect. That fear, like most fears, became a huge burden. I tried so hard and felt like I was doing my best, but also tried to avoid diving in because I wasn't sure what the water below held in store for me. Lousy excuse, I know. While I don't feel I connected to my girls as well this week right off the bat, it week ended so strong and I feel like I was able to develop a relationship and connection with most of them.

Miraculously (literally a miracle) I memorized all my company's names within day 1. Granted there were only 18 of us, which is much easier than the 28 from last week, I still did it. I'm not the best with names and faces. Especially when you have a Meg, Megan and Madi in the mix. Yeah. It wasn't as hard as I thought. But I'm absolutely certain I had nothing to do with it outside of making the effort. One of those "all the Lord" moments. I'm so glad I got their names so quickly. It made the rest of the week, and getting to know the boys much easier.

I feel like last week was such a piece of cake compared to this week. The youth were no more or less participatory or enthusiastic with the program. This week there were a few in my company that were struggling with serious issues back home. Not sin-type things. Just problems. That happens when you're that age. And I think it has a lot to do with how involved you are in your family as a key player. There's a difference between 15 and 16. At 15, you still rely heavily on your parents and family. At 16, you begin to gain independence and added responsibility because you can (supposedly) drive and date. There's a different sense on the actuality of life and family versus what your family is trying to portray. It makes 16-18 a lot more difficult. Even more so if you're the oldest child. But there were some great experiences with these kids.

Again, I'm amazed at the strength these youth have. They are faced with so many challenges, and yet they choose righteousness. They choose the Savior. I know I'm not that much older than them. Their challenges are different that most of what my generation (I'm not even that's the right term to use) faced. My challenges were very different that what most of my generation faced. I'm even more grateful for those challenges because I think I may be able to relate to these youth better that I would have without those trials.

The Lord always seems to know where we need to be and how to fill our needs. What am I saying. "Seems to know"? . . . no. He knows. I am grateful for the testimony-building and life-changing experience that is EFY. It has helped me become better and desire to do more for others than I could on my own. I plan to continue doing the things that have helped me feel the Spirit in greater abundance. I feel like I've needed to stretch myself and make more time for the most important things. I will make that time when real life starts up again. That is my commitment to myself.